Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I'm gonna love you through it...

Wanna know a secret? Sometimes "Life" isn't fair. Sometimes we have to do hard things. Sometimes we choose to do hard things, and sometimes we don't get a choice.

I am running a half marathon (my first ever) on Saturday morning. One day after Baby Girl turns 4 months old. It has been an intense goal to meet in such a short time after her birth, and I've spent quite a few runs repeating my mantra in my mind: "I can do hard things."

But now it's here, and I can't wait. I may not be the fastest, or in the best shape, but I am determined to finish. Isn't that what really counts in the end? To run a good race--and to finish the race?

I have pursued publication for years. Has it been hard? Yes. Have I had some blows that were so rough that I could barely drag myself back up? Yes. Am I still going, working, dreaming, actively pursuing my goal--my lifelong dream of being published? Yes, I am. Because I can do hard things.

But suddenly, none of these things matter that much when a truly HARD thing hits someone you love. Something they have no control over, that they had no choice in having to deal with. I chose to sign up for this race, I chose to pursue publication. My beautiful cousin and her husband DID NOT CHOOSE to have to do something this hard. I'd like you to meet Megan and Josh:
This was their gorgeous wedding day, two years ago. A beautiful young couple, full of hope and life and promise and joy.


This is them just last March (and my sister and her DH as well).


Just before they went to Mexico to celebrate their 2nd anniversary recently. they discovered a lump in Josh's throat. They (and their doctor) believed it to be a brachial cleft cyst, because I'd had one just like it when I was a teenager and that is what it ended up being. He'd been training for an intense cycling race called Lotoja, and so it was decided they'd wait to operate until he did his race. After they got back from Mexico, Josh completed his race. He did great the first two legs, but by the end of the third one he was extremely sick and exhausted. However, after riding a bike for hundreds of miles, who could blame him? Or so they thought... until another lump showed up in his collarbone area.


The doctors immediately decided it was probably cancer and that they needed to operate and biopsy it to find out.


Fast forward a month and a half... and he is in a fight for his life. He has a very rare form of lymphoma. It is stage IV and has spread to his bones already. He's getting an aggressive form of chemo every other week. This last week was especially hard, as he's been violently ill with terrifyingly high fevers. They even did an appendectomy and it still didn't help. He's finally doing a bit better again, and will be able to continue his chemo this week. Once he finished chemo, he is going to need a bone marrow transplant and will spend at least a month in the hospital, most likely over the holidays.


Suddenly, the things I thought were hard? Not so much. I love these two so much. They are amazing people. They have shown nothing but courage, faith, love, and graciousness in the face of devastating and frightening blow after blow.

Can we do hard things? Yes, we can. Can he beat this cancer? YES HE CAN. Megan posted this video on FB last night, and it moved me to tears. Even though it's about women with cancer, it obviously can be switched around, as Megan is the one loving Josh through this.





I am now dedicating my race to Megan and Josh. No matter how hard it is, how my body aches, how tired I feel, I am going to push through it with a prayer of gratitude for a healthy body that can take me through all 13.1 miles.

Josh, I know you are going to beat this. We are all praying for you, cheering for you, here for you. Day or night. And I hope that all my followers will be willing to add their own faith and prayers to all those who are already rooting for you.

We're ALL going to love you and Megan through this... because we can all do hard things.

18 comments:

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I hope things go well for you and Josh. What he's going through makes you realize how lucky you are and how publication really doesn't matter in the scheme of things. Health is more important.

I think it's amazing, Sara, that you're running for him so so after the birth of your baby (congrats, btw!!!).

DL Hammons said...

I'll be sending positive thoughts his way! As for the race...you got that in the bag!! :)

Ruth Josse said...

Sure does put what is really important in the right perspective. Family. Love. Faith. Adding my prayers and thoughts with Josh and his wife. And good luck this weekend!

Nicole Zoltack said...

What a wonderful post. I'm praying for you all!

Patti said...

Like you said, my struggles are nothing compared to that. I hope that all goes well.

Amie Borst said...

oh man...words escape me.
it's amazing what a little perspective can do though, isn't it?
i will pray for you all.

Elle Strauss said...

You made me cry, Sara. I will pray.

Melony said...

Thanks for sharing this Sara...it really touched me. I'll be praying for your cousin and her husband. Good luck in your race! You'll do great!

Kayeleen Hamblin said...

What a tragic and touching story. Good luck in your race, to both you and Josh and Megan.

Cheyanne said...

Heartbreaking. Josh and Megan will be in my prayers every day! He CAN beat this and they are lucky to have you supporting them!

And good luck with your race, you can do it!

ali cross said...

Wow. I am without words. This is a beautiful post, and such an important message. I am sending my thoughts and prayers your way. ((Hugs)) to you and your family.

Sara B. Larson said...

Thank you so much everyone. Your comments mean so so much to us. <3

L.T. Elliot said...

I'm definitely praying for him. God bless you.

harker_sarah said...

what beautiful words. Thanks for sharing. We will, continue to path for them.

harker_sarah said...

I mean "pray".

Caroline Starr Rose said...

I'm so sorry to hear this and can't imagine what it will be like. May your race be your way to connect with your cousin on the deepest level possible. xo

i'm erin. said...

Hey how did you do? I'm waiting for your next post. And girl, we need to get together.

Maria Hoagland said...

I know it's been a while since you posted this, but I just stumbled upon it. My thoughts and prayers are with your family as they struggle through genuinely trying times.