I'm going to be honest, I don't know what to post about today.
I'm sure you are all tired of reading about how sad I am, or how much I hate cancer, or anything else like that. This is an author blog after all. But I can't seem to think of what else to blog about that doesn't seem disrespectful in a way. My last two posts were about Josh and Megan, and then to just jump right back into normal posts, trying to be entertaining, somewhat funny, and also inspiring... I can't seem to do it yet.
So instead you get this rambling post. I guess what I'm trying to say is that in a very small way, this is a metaphor for life. How long do you allow yourself to mourn, to hold on to the pain, to be afraid to smile, to laugh, to experience joy in abundance? I know Josh would want us all to be happy. But the pain of his loss is still a hole that is there every time I turn around. My heart aches for Megan. But we all have to keep going forward. It will be easier for me than for her. I love Josh, but he was her everything. And yet, she is already such an example. She is already able to smile, to laugh, to joke. Not often, not exuberantly, but she can do it. She is amazing. At the luncheon after the funeral her belt kept coming undone, and she grinned at us and said, "Josh keeps trying to undress me. Oh, Josh." I love that girl and her indomitable spirit.
So, in line with my normal Monday posts, here is a quote that I just found:
"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired, and success achieved." - Helen Keller