Wow. I'm not going to lie, there were times over the last nine months when I really thought I'd never get to write this post. Those of you who have followed my blog for a while probably noticed that in February, I quietly took the name of my agent off of my bio. I never made a public announcement that I had decided to part ways with her, but I'm sure most of you have figured it out by now. It was a gut-wrenching decision, and one it took me a looong time to make, for many reasons. The biggest being that she was so nice, and had worked hard on my behalf, and still believed in my books. But sometimes, things just don't work out the way you hope, and over time, you realize that even though you're both nice, professional people, you aren't the best match to be working together. But it was so hard to actually do it--especially because it had been so hard to get an agent the first time. I had really amazing family and friends (some who had been where I was and things worked out great for them the second time around) that encouraged me, and believed in me.
So I did it. I wrote her and waited my thirty days and then I was officially un-agented again. I was freaking out.
And then I started querying. I got requests. I started to feel hopeful. Until the rejections came in. Ouch, those really hurt. Especially when I'm questioning myself the whole time: why did I do this? Why am I querying agents again when I could be on sub with editors?? And the rejections were all the same: your writing is excellent, this story is great, but the timing is wrong.
In the meantime, we had a terrible tragedy in our family. Again, for all who've followed me for a while, you'll remember what happened at the end of February (right when my thirty days were almost up): we lost Josh to cancer.
I was in a dark place. I was full of grief. The stark reality of death for someone so young was hard to bear. But out of that grief came two books: I started them within a week of each other, but ended up putting aside the fantasy (which is what I usually write to some degree), and focused on the light sci-fi (something I'd never attempted before), because I thought the timing might be better. I finished that book, revised it, and when it became clear the book I was querying was just not going to make it because the timing wasn't right, I switched and began to query the light sci-fi one, FINDING JANE.
I got requests. LOTS of requests. I got such amazing feedback, but after four months, still no offers. During that time, I was trying to write the fantasy, but man... that book just didn't want to come out. As the months wore on, I was as low as could be. (You may recall a post or two about that, and me trying to overcome it.) I have hit rock bottom quite a few times on this LOOOOONG journey of mine. And every time I think I can't get lower. But then I do. But everytime, not matter how bad it is, I somehow drag myself up and keep going. This last time was the closest I've been to actually quitting. To walking away--forever. But I didn't. As I wrote about in September, I kept going, and I finished my fantasy, DAUGHTER OF WAR.
I sent it out to beta's. I waited. I read my feedback. I made myself think about it, mull it over, and then attack my revision with everything I had. I knew this book was special. I knew it was the best thing I'd ever written, and I needed to do it justice.
When there wasn't anything else to do to make it better on my own, I knew it was time to start querying. That was Monday of last week. On Tuesday night, I queried an amazing agent who requested the full in ten minutes. I was cautiously excited.
And then. The NEXT DAY--only about fifteen hours later--I got an email from this agent. I pulled over to read it (I was on the way to drop my son off at preschool). And I started screaming, laughing and crying all at once. We spoke that night and I was just blown away by her enthusiasm and love for my book.
But there were also other agents who had it, and who ended up interested in my book. I'll be honest, I've dreamt of being the girl with multiple offers from agents (it didn't happen the first time). It was so exciting and wonderful--but it was also SO hard. I really loved more than one agent, and I was so torn. But I knew after speaking to one particular agent that he was the right choice. Everything just clicked when I spoke to him and in our subsequent emails.
So it is with great excitement and happiness that I get to announce that I am now represented by the amazing JOSH ADAMS of Adams Literary!!!
This is has been such a long journey, and ended up in such a whirlwind this last week, my head is still spinning. But I am so excited for this new direction in my career and for all that lies ahead. I can't wait to share DAUGHTER OF WAR with you all--hopefully sooner than later!
Showing posts with label path to getting an agent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label path to getting an agent. Show all posts
Friday, October 26, 2012
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
doubt
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." --William Shakespeare
Anyone here ever struggle with self-doubt? Um, ME! ME!
How do I overcome doubt? By forcing myself to take the next step forward. The only way to completely erase your doubts is to prove them wrong. I had many, many times when I doubted if I would ever get an agent. When it got the worst, I would send out ten more queries, or start a new book so I had something new to query soon. I would Keep. Moving. Forward. No matter how paralyzed I wanted to be by my fear, I forced it back by acting like I believed it was going to work. Even when I actually didn't. Does that make sense? It did for me. Did it work? Yes! Eventually. It took time, effort, faith, hard-work, more time, more effort... you get the idea. It took SIX blog posts about "my path to get an agent" worth of time to get there. But I did get an agent.
Now, I have all these doubts about finding an editor who will love my work enough to buy it. So, what am I going to do? Work hard, move forward, do what my agent needs me to do, and keep going until it happens. Then I'm sure I'll have new doubts. Woohoo! So much to look forward to! Ha ha. (Actually, I do look forward to it!)
How about you, what do you do to overcome your doubt?
Anyone here ever struggle with self-doubt? Um, ME! ME!
How do I overcome doubt? By forcing myself to take the next step forward. The only way to completely erase your doubts is to prove them wrong. I had many, many times when I doubted if I would ever get an agent. When it got the worst, I would send out ten more queries, or start a new book so I had something new to query soon. I would Keep. Moving. Forward. No matter how paralyzed I wanted to be by my fear, I forced it back by acting like I believed it was going to work. Even when I actually didn't. Does that make sense? It did for me. Did it work? Yes! Eventually. It took time, effort, faith, hard-work, more time, more effort... you get the idea. It took SIX blog posts about "my path to get an agent" worth of time to get there. But I did get an agent.
Now, I have all these doubts about finding an editor who will love my work enough to buy it. So, what am I going to do? Work hard, move forward, do what my agent needs me to do, and keep going until it happens. Then I'm sure I'll have new doubts. Woohoo! So much to look forward to! Ha ha. (Actually, I do look forward to it!)
How about you, what do you do to overcome your doubt?
Friday, August 13, 2010
My Path to Getting an Agent Pt. 6
Okay, let's see if I can do this!
During the month of November and December, I get quite a few requests for fulls and partials of IMPACT. (Both were in the double digits) I am feeling very hopeful this time, but am nervous to get my hopes up after so many rejections in the past. Ultimately, I get rejected by ALL of them. The majority of the responses were so full of praise, that again they read like acceptance emails, until you got to the part where that word "enough" showed up again. Didn't love it enough. Didn't feel passionate enough. At this point I really, REALLY hate the word enough. I'm considering never using it out loud or in a book again. Ever. Okay, just kidding, but you get my point.
So, what do I do? I write another book. I loved the idea I'd used for my "adult book," but didn't want to try adult fiction again, so I thought about how I could turn it into something YA. At first it was going to be more of a quiet, emotionally driven book. But then this whole other side to the plot begins to build, characters and histories and future events begin crowding into my mind and I think it sounds like a lot more fun to write. Hence, SIGHT UNSEEN is born. I write it in about 3 weeks or so (it was over Christmas break, so I had a lot of writing time), and then spend about a month revising and polishing it. I start querying it in mid--late February.
I get a lot of interest again, with many requests for fulls and partials. When, suddenly, out of the blue, I get an email from an agent about IMPACT. She'd just read my query that I sent a few months ago and wondered if it was still available to read? If so, she'd like to read the full. I am totally surprised, but think, "sure, why not? I'll send it to her," and figure I'll get the rejection sometime in the next month or two. Then I didn't think too much about it again, as I am concentrating on SIGHT UNSEEN at this point.
Imagine my surprise when I get an email just two weeks later, telling me she'd read the whole thing over the weekend and wanted to set up a time later that week to talk on the phone. I seriously just sit there staring at my email (I checked it on my iTouch) trying to figure out if this was real. Instead of screaming or crying or anything like I thought I would do, after all the years of heartache and faith and hard work and dedication, I just feel... almost numb with shock. An agent had read the whole book and wanted to talk to me. On the phone. My next thought is, "I should call Trav and tell him that I think an agent might be offering to represent me." It is so surreal. Once I tell him, and he starts whooping and yelling, I finally snap out of my shock and start jumping up and down and freaking out. Then I have to wait for four days to talk to her. I begin to doubt myself, and wonder, "What if she just wants to tell me why she isn't offering? Or wants to revise it first before she offers?"
By the morning of the call, I am so nervous, I am sick to my stomach as I sit on my bed, holding the phone, a pen and a notebook on my lap (with a printed paper of the questions I wanted to ask next to me). Thank heavens she is so incredibly nice, and asks me really lovely questions like, "Have you lived in Utah your whole life?" and "Do you work or just stay home with your kids?" I know the answers to these questions pretty well, so I don't mess up. Phwew!! (Seriously, it made a big difference, and helped put me at ease before we started talking about my book.) Then, when she does start talking about my book, it is AMAZING. Her exuberance, her passion for my writing and my story, she actually GETS IT! We end up talking for almost an hour. When she asks if I have any other books I am working on, and I tell her how many I have finished, she is actually thrilled.
I can't accept her offer on the spot, because I have so many fulls out still. I immediately write the other agents, letting them know I've received an offer, and get quite a few emails back very quickly, telling me they will hurry and read SIGHT UNSEEN and let me know if they'd also like to offer. This sounds like a dream situation, but honestly, it is a very stressful week. Finally, the next Friday, I ultimately decide that Hannah's passion and love for my books, my writing, and her hopes to help me build a career, make her the right fit for me. I accept Hannah's offer, and two and a half years after I started querying, I finally, FINALLY have an agent. (And an awesome one at that!)
So that is my story! Wow, huh?
Now, on to the fun stuff! Your reward for continuing to read (and hopefully gleaning some sort of hope or wisdom from my long, arduous path to getting an agent) is that I am going to do a contest. But not just any contest...
What do you need to be as shiny and polished as possible to get your foot in the door on your path to getting an agent? Yep, you got it. A QUERY. So here's my contest: All you have to do is leave a comment with your "twitter pitch" (aka 140 characters or less); basically a one or two line pitch of your book. Then, I will take all of the pitches and have a panel of readers vote on which ones they like the best. The pitch with the highest number of votes will win a query critique from yours truly.
Sound good? I hope so! Thanks for reading and let the pitching begin!
(This contest is open until Friday, August 20 at 12:00 P.M. MST. Judging will occur over the weekend, and the winner will be announced on Monday, August 23!)
During the month of November and December, I get quite a few requests for fulls and partials of IMPACT. (Both were in the double digits) I am feeling very hopeful this time, but am nervous to get my hopes up after so many rejections in the past. Ultimately, I get rejected by ALL of them. The majority of the responses were so full of praise, that again they read like acceptance emails, until you got to the part where that word "enough" showed up again. Didn't love it enough. Didn't feel passionate enough. At this point I really, REALLY hate the word enough. I'm considering never using it out loud or in a book again. Ever. Okay, just kidding, but you get my point.
So, what do I do? I write another book. I loved the idea I'd used for my "adult book," but didn't want to try adult fiction again, so I thought about how I could turn it into something YA. At first it was going to be more of a quiet, emotionally driven book. But then this whole other side to the plot begins to build, characters and histories and future events begin crowding into my mind and I think it sounds like a lot more fun to write. Hence, SIGHT UNSEEN is born. I write it in about 3 weeks or so (it was over Christmas break, so I had a lot of writing time), and then spend about a month revising and polishing it. I start querying it in mid--late February.
I get a lot of interest again, with many requests for fulls and partials. When, suddenly, out of the blue, I get an email from an agent about IMPACT. She'd just read my query that I sent a few months ago and wondered if it was still available to read? If so, she'd like to read the full. I am totally surprised, but think, "sure, why not? I'll send it to her," and figure I'll get the rejection sometime in the next month or two. Then I didn't think too much about it again, as I am concentrating on SIGHT UNSEEN at this point.
Imagine my surprise when I get an email just two weeks later, telling me she'd read the whole thing over the weekend and wanted to set up a time later that week to talk on the phone. I seriously just sit there staring at my email (I checked it on my iTouch) trying to figure out if this was real. Instead of screaming or crying or anything like I thought I would do, after all the years of heartache and faith and hard work and dedication, I just feel... almost numb with shock. An agent had read the whole book and wanted to talk to me. On the phone. My next thought is, "I should call Trav and tell him that I think an agent might be offering to represent me." It is so surreal. Once I tell him, and he starts whooping and yelling, I finally snap out of my shock and start jumping up and down and freaking out. Then I have to wait for four days to talk to her. I begin to doubt myself, and wonder, "What if she just wants to tell me why she isn't offering? Or wants to revise it first before she offers?"
By the morning of the call, I am so nervous, I am sick to my stomach as I sit on my bed, holding the phone, a pen and a notebook on my lap (with a printed paper of the questions I wanted to ask next to me). Thank heavens she is so incredibly nice, and asks me really lovely questions like, "Have you lived in Utah your whole life?" and "Do you work or just stay home with your kids?" I know the answers to these questions pretty well, so I don't mess up. Phwew!! (Seriously, it made a big difference, and helped put me at ease before we started talking about my book.) Then, when she does start talking about my book, it is AMAZING. Her exuberance, her passion for my writing and my story, she actually GETS IT! We end up talking for almost an hour. When she asks if I have any other books I am working on, and I tell her how many I have finished, she is actually thrilled.
I can't accept her offer on the spot, because I have so many fulls out still. I immediately write the other agents, letting them know I've received an offer, and get quite a few emails back very quickly, telling me they will hurry and read SIGHT UNSEEN and let me know if they'd also like to offer. This sounds like a dream situation, but honestly, it is a very stressful week. Finally, the next Friday, I ultimately decide that Hannah's passion and love for my books, my writing, and her hopes to help me build a career, make her the right fit for me. I accept Hannah's offer, and two and a half years after I started querying, I finally, FINALLY have an agent. (And an awesome one at that!)
So that is my story! Wow, huh?
Now, on to the fun stuff! Your reward for continuing to read (and hopefully gleaning some sort of hope or wisdom from my long, arduous path to getting an agent) is that I am going to do a contest. But not just any contest...
What do you need to be as shiny and polished as possible to get your foot in the door on your path to getting an agent? Yep, you got it. A QUERY. So here's my contest: All you have to do is leave a comment with your "twitter pitch" (aka 140 characters or less); basically a one or two line pitch of your book. Then, I will take all of the pitches and have a panel of readers vote on which ones they like the best. The pitch with the highest number of votes will win a query critique from yours truly.
Sound good? I hope so! Thanks for reading and let the pitching begin!
(This contest is open until Friday, August 20 at 12:00 P.M. MST. Judging will occur over the weekend, and the winner will be announced on Monday, August 23!)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
My Path to Getting an Agent Pt. 5
Phwew, are you still there? Betchya didn't realize what you were signing up for when you asked me to tell you about my path to getting an agent, did you? Well, for those of you bravely continuing to read, let's continue.
So, I have a full out with an amazing agent when we last left off. After about a month and a half (I don't remember exactly anymore), she responded to it and let me know that she loved it, but just not enough. However, she gave me a bunch of notes and said if I was willing to revise it, she'd be happy to read it again. At first I will admit I was dismayed that it wasn't a big, huge YES. But, then after talking to Julie and taking a few deep breaths, I realized what an amazing opportunity this was. I spent about a month tearing my manuscript apart and revising it. I even found a great writer's conference at BYU and signed up for it, hoping to get some more feedback on it and meet more people in the industry. I met some amazing people at that conference, including my morning class that ended up becoming a critique group for a while. We've since split up because it was just too big, but we still get together quarterly for BBQs. All those ladies are so wonderful and fun!
I also became good friends with one of the nicest, most genuinely sweet and humble people I've ever known, Ally Condie; and I got to learn at the hysterical and wise feet of our morning class teacher, Janette Rallison (whom I also am lucky to count as a friend). I learned so much at that conference, met such wonderful people, and am so grateful I went.
Then... I waited for another month to hear back from the agent after I resubmitted my manuscript. I got a couple more requests for partials in the meantime from some great agents. I was feeling pretty confident. For reals this time. This. Was. It.
And then they all rejected HIDDEN. All of them said about the same thing, they loved the writing, the characters were wonderful and so real, the plot was intriguing, etc. But they just didn't love it enough to offer representation. I really grew to hate the word "enough" over the next few months. My rejection letters had evolved into reading like an acceptance letter, until you got to the part where two little words "didn't" and "enough" got shoved in before and after "love it." Ugh.
This was a really low time for me. I seriously thought about giving up. But even at my worst moments, I knew deep down that I couldn't. As much as I wanted to sometimes, I just knew I couldn't give up. I was determined to make it. I would send out more queries, and got more requests (some partials, some fulls) and kept getting the same responses. Ally joked that she'd never seen such nice rejections before--and so many of them, too! That was funny, but unfortunately it was also small comfort, since they were still ultimately rejections. And what do you do with nice rejections anyway? There's nothing to work on, or revise, or change.
After talking with her, my other friends and family, and Janette, I finally came to the realization that after two YEARS of querying HIDDEN, maybe I needed to step back and try something else. It broke my heart to give up on Gareth and Ava, but I was running out of options. I wanted to fight it, but the truth was staring me in the face. I had to write a new book if I wanted to keep pursuing getting an agent. I still had a few more hopes for HIDDEN left to try before I shelved it for good, but in the meantime, I began working on a new book, a completely different story with a totally different narrator. Ethnie started whispering to me, and grabbed my full attention in a very short time. IMPACT (as it was titled then) took me over three months to write (which was VERY slow for me), but it came out very clean. All my other hopes for HIDDEN had by now been squashed (yay for more incredibly nice rejections), and so, with the encouragement of my CPs and everyone else who read IMPACT, I decided to start over at the top of my agent list with my shiny, new book. By this time it was October/November 2009. With renewed hope and confidence, I sent out my first wave of queries.
My hope is to finish up this story in the next post (we'll see if I can do it!), so make sure and come back for the exciting conclusion. PLUS as a reward for sticking with me through this long and arduous retelling of my journey, I am going to have a fun contest. So stay tuned for that!
So, I have a full out with an amazing agent when we last left off. After about a month and a half (I don't remember exactly anymore), she responded to it and let me know that she loved it, but just not enough. However, she gave me a bunch of notes and said if I was willing to revise it, she'd be happy to read it again. At first I will admit I was dismayed that it wasn't a big, huge YES. But, then after talking to Julie and taking a few deep breaths, I realized what an amazing opportunity this was. I spent about a month tearing my manuscript apart and revising it. I even found a great writer's conference at BYU and signed up for it, hoping to get some more feedback on it and meet more people in the industry. I met some amazing people at that conference, including my morning class that ended up becoming a critique group for a while. We've since split up because it was just too big, but we still get together quarterly for BBQs. All those ladies are so wonderful and fun!
I also became good friends with one of the nicest, most genuinely sweet and humble people I've ever known, Ally Condie; and I got to learn at the hysterical and wise feet of our morning class teacher, Janette Rallison (whom I also am lucky to count as a friend). I learned so much at that conference, met such wonderful people, and am so grateful I went.
Then... I waited for another month to hear back from the agent after I resubmitted my manuscript. I got a couple more requests for partials in the meantime from some great agents. I was feeling pretty confident. For reals this time. This. Was. It.
And then they all rejected HIDDEN. All of them said about the same thing, they loved the writing, the characters were wonderful and so real, the plot was intriguing, etc. But they just didn't love it enough to offer representation. I really grew to hate the word "enough" over the next few months. My rejection letters had evolved into reading like an acceptance letter, until you got to the part where two little words "didn't" and "enough" got shoved in before and after "love it." Ugh.
This was a really low time for me. I seriously thought about giving up. But even at my worst moments, I knew deep down that I couldn't. As much as I wanted to sometimes, I just knew I couldn't give up. I was determined to make it. I would send out more queries, and got more requests (some partials, some fulls) and kept getting the same responses. Ally joked that she'd never seen such nice rejections before--and so many of them, too! That was funny, but unfortunately it was also small comfort, since they were still ultimately rejections. And what do you do with nice rejections anyway? There's nothing to work on, or revise, or change.
After talking with her, my other friends and family, and Janette, I finally came to the realization that after two YEARS of querying HIDDEN, maybe I needed to step back and try something else. It broke my heart to give up on Gareth and Ava, but I was running out of options. I wanted to fight it, but the truth was staring me in the face. I had to write a new book if I wanted to keep pursuing getting an agent. I still had a few more hopes for HIDDEN left to try before I shelved it for good, but in the meantime, I began working on a new book, a completely different story with a totally different narrator. Ethnie started whispering to me, and grabbed my full attention in a very short time. IMPACT (as it was titled then) took me over three months to write (which was VERY slow for me), but it came out very clean. All my other hopes for HIDDEN had by now been squashed (yay for more incredibly nice rejections), and so, with the encouragement of my CPs and everyone else who read IMPACT, I decided to start over at the top of my agent list with my shiny, new book. By this time it was October/November 2009. With renewed hope and confidence, I sent out my first wave of queries.
My hope is to finish up this story in the next post (we'll see if I can do it!), so make sure and come back for the exciting conclusion. PLUS as a reward for sticking with me through this long and arduous retelling of my journey, I am going to have a fun contest. So stay tuned for that!
Monday, August 9, 2010
My Path to Getting an Agent Pt. 4
Did you all have a nice weekend? I hope so. Are you ready to continue reliving my crazy journey to getting an agent with me? Yes? Fabulous.
One of you guessed right in the comments for Pt. 3: I got a severe and rare form of PPD called Acute Anxiety Post Partum Depression. Instead of just being depressed (sad, tired, wanting to sleep, etc.) I was basically having an anxiety attack constantly, 24/7. I couldn't sleep, I could barely force myself to eat (my stomach was too upset), it was horrible. I won't go into all the details, but the reason I'm even bringing this up at all is because so many women are afraid to talk about their experiences after having a baby. They don't want to admit that they cried more than they smiled for the first couple of weeks (or more), or that they were mad or afraid or anything besides calm and put together. They're afraid that by admitting things weren't as perfect and deliriously happy as they thought it would be, that they are bad moms. Which is 100% NOT TRUE. PPD in any form or severity is a disease, just like any other. People will tell you to just "snap out of it," to put "mind over matter," and just "make yourself be happy." Here I was, with the baby we'd been desperately pleading for (for two years) and I was miserable, almost hysterically unhappy at times. Logically, I knew deep down that what I was feeling wasn't true -- that it wasn't really me. But there was nothing I could do to stop it. Thankfully, I'm not the type to pretend I'm okay when I'm not (which would have been pretty impossible anyway with how severe it was), and I got help very quickly. I also got better very quickly, especially for how severe it was.
However, there was definitely NO writing or querying or anything remotely close to pursuing getting an agent for a couple of months.
When my son was about two months old, I started getting back to work. I was feeling a LOT better, and wanted to keep pursuing my dream. I started querying again, and revising the sequel to HIDDEN to give me something to do. (Yes, I wrote the sequel the year before, while I was waiting to hear back from Jodi. I also started writing the third and final book. But now I'm getting ahead of myself.) Around this time I met a wonderful author who has become a dear friend and is one of the nicest, most generous people I know in this business: Julie Berry. She gave me advice, helped me some more with my query, taught me so much about what to do and not to do when querying and communicating with agents, and even more. Meeting and getting to know other authors, or aspiring authors, or bloggers, agents, etc. is one of the most fulfilling parts of this business. Don't you agree? People are so kind and willing to help. (Usually, ha ha.) I have been lucky to get to know many wonderful people along my journey, and continue to meet more and more of them all the time!
Then... one beautiful spring day... it happened. I got my first request for a FULL MANUSCRIPT! I was over the moon. NOW my dream was finally going to come true! I was finally going to get an agent. I'd been through so much, and hadn't given up - no matter what - and it was finally going to pay off. Right?
P.S. If you, or anyone you know, is suffering or has suffered from any form of PPD and would like to talk more, I would be happy to. Talking about it and finding other people who have been through what you have, who truly understand, can be amazing and therapeutic.
One of you guessed right in the comments for Pt. 3: I got a severe and rare form of PPD called Acute Anxiety Post Partum Depression. Instead of just being depressed (sad, tired, wanting to sleep, etc.) I was basically having an anxiety attack constantly, 24/7. I couldn't sleep, I could barely force myself to eat (my stomach was too upset), it was horrible. I won't go into all the details, but the reason I'm even bringing this up at all is because so many women are afraid to talk about their experiences after having a baby. They don't want to admit that they cried more than they smiled for the first couple of weeks (or more), or that they were mad or afraid or anything besides calm and put together. They're afraid that by admitting things weren't as perfect and deliriously happy as they thought it would be, that they are bad moms. Which is 100% NOT TRUE. PPD in any form or severity is a disease, just like any other. People will tell you to just "snap out of it," to put "mind over matter," and just "make yourself be happy." Here I was, with the baby we'd been desperately pleading for (for two years) and I was miserable, almost hysterically unhappy at times. Logically, I knew deep down that what I was feeling wasn't true -- that it wasn't really me. But there was nothing I could do to stop it. Thankfully, I'm not the type to pretend I'm okay when I'm not (which would have been pretty impossible anyway with how severe it was), and I got help very quickly. I also got better very quickly, especially for how severe it was.
However, there was definitely NO writing or querying or anything remotely close to pursuing getting an agent for a couple of months.
When my son was about two months old, I started getting back to work. I was feeling a LOT better, and wanted to keep pursuing my dream. I started querying again, and revising the sequel to HIDDEN to give me something to do. (Yes, I wrote the sequel the year before, while I was waiting to hear back from Jodi. I also started writing the third and final book. But now I'm getting ahead of myself.) Around this time I met a wonderful author who has become a dear friend and is one of the nicest, most generous people I know in this business: Julie Berry. She gave me advice, helped me some more with my query, taught me so much about what to do and not to do when querying and communicating with agents, and even more. Meeting and getting to know other authors, or aspiring authors, or bloggers, agents, etc. is one of the most fulfilling parts of this business. Don't you agree? People are so kind and willing to help. (Usually, ha ha.) I have been lucky to get to know many wonderful people along my journey, and continue to meet more and more of them all the time!
Then... one beautiful spring day... it happened. I got my first request for a FULL MANUSCRIPT! I was over the moon. NOW my dream was finally going to come true! I was finally going to get an agent. I'd been through so much, and hadn't given up - no matter what - and it was finally going to pay off. Right?
P.S. If you, or anyone you know, is suffering or has suffered from any form of PPD and would like to talk more, I would be happy to. Talking about it and finding other people who have been through what you have, who truly understand, can be amazing and therapeutic.
Friday, August 6, 2010
My Path to Getting an Agent Pt. 3
Okay, I'm just warning you guys now. Telling you the whole path to getting my agent is probably going to take a few more posts. I was joking with some of the ladies in a writer's group tonight that if I told you ALL the details, I could stretch this out for four months. Wait! Don't pass out yet--I'm not planning on actually doing that. I will try to condense it enough to keep it to a couple more posts, while still sharing the ups and downs of my story in case anyone out there is benefiting from hearing this.
So, where did I leave off? Oh yes, the lesson I learned. Wanna know what it was? All those red marks on my manuscript meant that she liked it enough to actually take the time and effort to give me such a detailed edit. Because honestly, that must have taken her a LOT of time. And possibly more than one red pen, due to the ink running out from all of my mistakes she marked and her notes on the pages. (It was so bad, she actually stopped marking it after about page 60 and said, "you keep repeating the same mistakes, so try and catch them yourself from here on out and I will go through it again after you revise it.")
The thing that helped me not get completely depressed about her edit, was that she took the time to explain how much she liked my book and my writing, and that the things she'd marked were actually relatively minor, common "pre-published" mistakes, and easily fixed. I learned that when someone takes the time to give you a detailed edit, it means they like it and care. Not that they hate it. If she'd hated it, or thought I had no talent, she would have told me "it was good, maybe you could try and work on ____" and handed me back my manuscript unmarked.
I got down to work, and did pretty much every edit she gave me. My manuscript had a complete make-over. Suddenly, I wasn't thinking "How could Jodi have rejected me?!" -- I was thinking, "Why in the world did she even request this in the first place??" Obviously it had potential, and the story was still there, but wow. I really tightened it up a ton. At that time in my path I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd queried Jodi AFTER the revision from Stephanni. However, I may never have asked Stephanni to look at it without Jodi's rejection. Her feedback is what spurred me to ask Stephanni to look at it and help me figure out what I was missing. (Just so you know, I eventually realized that there were lots of other amazing agents out there--the one that represents me included! She was just the only I really knew about at the beginning of foray into this industry because of Stephenie Meyer's acknowledgements. Again, can you say naive?)
Phwew. That was a rough month. But I was ready to get back in the saddle. I was going to start querying again. I revised my query with Stephanni (and her writer's group's) help. I used my new discoveries (agentquery.com! agent blogs! absolutewrite! the list goes on...) to compile a HUGE list of agents to query. I, and two of my friends, spent days and days (morning, noon, and night) researching every agent on that list and then "rating" them from best fit for my book to least, based on what we could find about their likes/dislikes/submissions/etc. I finally picked ten of my "5's" (the highest score we gave them), and I prepared to jump back into the waters, my confidence completely restored. I was definitely getting an agent this time! First round baby! Those two friends gave me so much support and time, I am also forever indebted to them for their belief in me. They got me through more rough patches than you can believe.
Within a couple of months, I'd gotten quite a few requests for partials, and a whole lot more rejections. The ability to query by email was nice for speed and convenience, but it kind of sucked how quickly they could send you a form rejection back. The rejections hurt every. single. time. The first one, the tenth one, the fortieth one. They all hurt bad. But I kept going.
About this time, I finally got the miracle my husband, son and I (and family and friends) had been praying for--after almost two years of trying, procedures, surgeries, losses, hopes and devastation, we were finally having a successful pregnancy with our second child. We'd made it through the scary time when I'd lost a baby the year before right before the second trimester in a "missed miscarriage." Over the ensuing nine months, I had many ups and downs. Some weeks I queried a bunch, and other times I was having complications with my pregnancy, and writing/querying got put on hold. I got requests, I got rejections. I'd revise some more and keep trying. I'd spend hours researching an agent to personalize a query only to get a form rejection the next day or week -- or in some cases, the next hour. Requests, rejections. Lots of rejections.
I was able to carry my baby full term (which was a wonderful miracle), and in the meantime nothing new happened with my querying. I was due the beginning of January, so I figured I'd take a break for Christmas and the New Year (since the industry pretty much shuts down anyway), and start putting my nose to the grindstone again a few weeks after he was born.
After talking about possibly having to deliver him at 25 weeks to try and save his life, then having the situation recover enough for him to hold on until the end, I ended up having to be scheduled for an induction. Not one to ever let us dictate how his life would be run even in utero, Son B decided to come the day before his induction in the most excruciating labor imaginable. (He was face up and turned to the side, the only thing harder to deliver is breech apparently.) But we both did just fine, and there he was! My miracle baby, alive, healthy, beautiful. I had bright hopes for our future, and felt really excited about getting back to work in a few weeks. I was deliriously happy.
And then... I wasn't. Something went wrong. Very, very wrong.
Okay, I think that's long enough, so I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut you off again. Sorry it isn't the happiest ending place, but things do get better. I promise. Stay tuned! Until then, happy weekend! (P.S. SonB's test and appointment went pretty well. Not fabulous, but the doctors will be able to help him and it isn't as bad as it could have been. Thank you for you prayers and well wishes.)
So, where did I leave off? Oh yes, the lesson I learned. Wanna know what it was? All those red marks on my manuscript meant that she liked it enough to actually take the time and effort to give me such a detailed edit. Because honestly, that must have taken her a LOT of time. And possibly more than one red pen, due to the ink running out from all of my mistakes she marked and her notes on the pages. (It was so bad, she actually stopped marking it after about page 60 and said, "you keep repeating the same mistakes, so try and catch them yourself from here on out and I will go through it again after you revise it.")
The thing that helped me not get completely depressed about her edit, was that she took the time to explain how much she liked my book and my writing, and that the things she'd marked were actually relatively minor, common "pre-published" mistakes, and easily fixed. I learned that when someone takes the time to give you a detailed edit, it means they like it and care. Not that they hate it. If she'd hated it, or thought I had no talent, she would have told me "it was good, maybe you could try and work on ____" and handed me back my manuscript unmarked.
I got down to work, and did pretty much every edit she gave me. My manuscript had a complete make-over. Suddenly, I wasn't thinking "How could Jodi have rejected me?!" -- I was thinking, "Why in the world did she even request this in the first place??" Obviously it had potential, and the story was still there, but wow. I really tightened it up a ton. At that time in my path I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I'd queried Jodi AFTER the revision from Stephanni. However, I may never have asked Stephanni to look at it without Jodi's rejection. Her feedback is what spurred me to ask Stephanni to look at it and help me figure out what I was missing. (Just so you know, I eventually realized that there were lots of other amazing agents out there--the one that represents me included! She was just the only I really knew about at the beginning of foray into this industry because of Stephenie Meyer's acknowledgements. Again, can you say naive?)
Phwew. That was a rough month. But I was ready to get back in the saddle. I was going to start querying again. I revised my query with Stephanni (and her writer's group's) help. I used my new discoveries (agentquery.com! agent blogs! absolutewrite! the list goes on...) to compile a HUGE list of agents to query. I, and two of my friends, spent days and days (morning, noon, and night) researching every agent on that list and then "rating" them from best fit for my book to least, based on what we could find about their likes/dislikes/submissions/etc. I finally picked ten of my "5's" (the highest score we gave them), and I prepared to jump back into the waters, my confidence completely restored. I was definitely getting an agent this time! First round baby! Those two friends gave me so much support and time, I am also forever indebted to them for their belief in me. They got me through more rough patches than you can believe.
Within a couple of months, I'd gotten quite a few requests for partials, and a whole lot more rejections. The ability to query by email was nice for speed and convenience, but it kind of sucked how quickly they could send you a form rejection back. The rejections hurt every. single. time. The first one, the tenth one, the fortieth one. They all hurt bad. But I kept going.
About this time, I finally got the miracle my husband, son and I (and family and friends) had been praying for--after almost two years of trying, procedures, surgeries, losses, hopes and devastation, we were finally having a successful pregnancy with our second child. We'd made it through the scary time when I'd lost a baby the year before right before the second trimester in a "missed miscarriage." Over the ensuing nine months, I had many ups and downs. Some weeks I queried a bunch, and other times I was having complications with my pregnancy, and writing/querying got put on hold. I got requests, I got rejections. I'd revise some more and keep trying. I'd spend hours researching an agent to personalize a query only to get a form rejection the next day or week -- or in some cases, the next hour. Requests, rejections. Lots of rejections.
I was able to carry my baby full term (which was a wonderful miracle), and in the meantime nothing new happened with my querying. I was due the beginning of January, so I figured I'd take a break for Christmas and the New Year (since the industry pretty much shuts down anyway), and start putting my nose to the grindstone again a few weeks after he was born.
After talking about possibly having to deliver him at 25 weeks to try and save his life, then having the situation recover enough for him to hold on until the end, I ended up having to be scheduled for an induction. Not one to ever let us dictate how his life would be run even in utero, Son B decided to come the day before his induction in the most excruciating labor imaginable. (He was face up and turned to the side, the only thing harder to deliver is breech apparently.) But we both did just fine, and there he was! My miracle baby, alive, healthy, beautiful. I had bright hopes for our future, and felt really excited about getting back to work in a few weeks. I was deliriously happy.
And then... I wasn't. Something went wrong. Very, very wrong.
Okay, I think that's long enough, so I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut you off again. Sorry it isn't the happiest ending place, but things do get better. I promise. Stay tuned! Until then, happy weekend! (P.S. SonB's test and appointment went pretty well. Not fabulous, but the doctors will be able to help him and it isn't as bad as it could have been. Thank you for you prayers and well wishes.)
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
My Path to Getting an Agent Pt. 2
I just had a brilliant thought that I unfortunately didn't come up with on Monday when I posted Pt. 1... I should have asked you what YOU thought would happen next in the comments! That would have been fun. Oh well.
So, wanna know what happens next? For those of you who excel at math, you have probably figured out that I did not become the next Stephenie Meyer who got an agent on the first round of queries. (You would have figured that out by realizing I signed with my agent in March of this year 2010 - and Pt. 1 happened in Summer-Fall of 2007. Yikes.)
Here's what happened next: I waited. And waited. And waited. And started getting a few form rejections in the mail. A few more. Some more waiting. And then....! An email from someone I don't know! Celebrations! Oh, wait. Who is this person?
I queried an agent, and got an email back from a person (who's name doesn't show up on the agency website or the Writer's Market listing - which was the only source I was using at the time) asking for a partial. I figure out what agency she's from by the name of it in her email address. Okay, great, now I sort of know who she is. Maybe an assistant or something? I'm so excited! I got a partial request! I write her back to ask if she'd like it emailed as an attachment or sent in the mail (since she didn't say, it was really a very short email). And nothing. No response. Nada. Ever. Again. That was weird.
Also, no response from Jodi. But that could be a good thing, right? It's not a no... yet. After 8 weeks, I begin to lose hope and figure I'd better get ready for my next round of queries. But, wait! Another email comes, from someone I don't know again. Except this time, she says she's Jodi Reamer's assistant, that Jodi liked my sample pages and wants a 100 PAGE PARTIAL!! Celebrating and screaming and squealing ensues. This. Is. It!! I am so landing my number #1 agent baby!
I send her the partial and eagerly wait for a response in the next week or so. Because that's how fast she will respond when an agent is interested, right? Especially when they request it right around the Holidays so they have lots of free time to read it! (Hopefully you are laughing out loud right now at my naiveté. If not, you have much learning to do young padawan.) The other thing about this partial, is that she asked for it to be exclusive. Which I immediately granted. So I wait, and wait, without sending any other queries out. December passes silently. Christmas comes and goes. New Year's. Valentine's Day.
Then... I get it. The long awaited email from her assistant. I open it with baited breath. I read an opening line thanking me for letting them have the chance to read the partial, and telling me how much they enjoyed it, and praising my writing and my characters and etc. Until suddenly they're telling me that unfortunately Jodi doesn't want to offer representation because she felt like there wasn't enough of a reason for Gareth and Ava to be falling in love - that she needs more than a vague sense of destiny. I'm stunned. What in the world just happened? She rejected me? All my dreams come shattering down around me. No one is going to think that Erin's younger daughter is named Ava because of my book after all. I'm not the next Stephenie Meyer. Jodi doesn't like it. I'm broken.
This lasts for a short period of time. Then I decide there has to be at least a few other agents out there, and I'd better start doing some more research. I (with the help of two friends) start researching this industry some more, and find websites like agentquery.com (holy crap! There's, like, a ton of agents out there!), and agent blogs and websites and all sorts of information. (I know, I'm lame that it took me almost 3/4 of a year into this journey to figure that all out.)
I dust myself off, wipe my eyes, swallow hard past that lump in my throat, and decide I'd better keep moving forward. I believe in HIDDEN, my friends/family/readers do (they claim they like it better than Twilight and swear they aren't just saying that. But they are my friends, so I'm not really sure I can trust 'em. However, it does give me the boost of confidence needed to make me want to find the person who WILL believe in Ava and Gareth as much as I do.) I also find out that a woman in my neighborhood (ironically named Stephanni Myers) used to be an acquisitions editor and is a published author. She graciously takes the time to help me take the feedback I got from Jodi, reads my whole manuscript and then tears it apart. In a good, GOOD way. It doesn't feel good at first - in fact, when I see all those red marks completely obliterating the page, I think "why did she even read this if she hated it so much?" She didn't hate it though, quite the opposite actually. Stephanni taught me a major lesson that is vitally important at any stage in this business and I am eternally indebted to her, not only for that but for all of her help and support along the way. What was that lesson? Stay tuned to find out! Or maybe let's play that game I thought up: what do you think the lesson was that I learned? Or can you make a guess at what happens next?
Until next time!
(P.S. if there are tense problems or rambling issues in this post, I am not held responsible. I am somewhat distracted by some health issues Son B is having and a test we have to go to today. Wish us luck or pray for us, whichever you feel comfortable doing.)
So, wanna know what happens next? For those of you who excel at math, you have probably figured out that I did not become the next Stephenie Meyer who got an agent on the first round of queries. (You would have figured that out by realizing I signed with my agent in March of this year 2010 - and Pt. 1 happened in Summer-Fall of 2007. Yikes.)
Here's what happened next: I waited. And waited. And waited. And started getting a few form rejections in the mail. A few more. Some more waiting. And then....! An email from someone I don't know! Celebrations! Oh, wait. Who is this person?
I queried an agent, and got an email back from a person (who's name doesn't show up on the agency website or the Writer's Market listing - which was the only source I was using at the time) asking for a partial. I figure out what agency she's from by the name of it in her email address. Okay, great, now I sort of know who she is. Maybe an assistant or something? I'm so excited! I got a partial request! I write her back to ask if she'd like it emailed as an attachment or sent in the mail (since she didn't say, it was really a very short email). And nothing. No response. Nada. Ever. Again. That was weird.
Also, no response from Jodi. But that could be a good thing, right? It's not a no... yet. After 8 weeks, I begin to lose hope and figure I'd better get ready for my next round of queries. But, wait! Another email comes, from someone I don't know again. Except this time, she says she's Jodi Reamer's assistant, that Jodi liked my sample pages and wants a 100 PAGE PARTIAL!! Celebrating and screaming and squealing ensues. This. Is. It!! I am so landing my number #1 agent baby!
I send her the partial and eagerly wait for a response in the next week or so. Because that's how fast she will respond when an agent is interested, right? Especially when they request it right around the Holidays so they have lots of free time to read it! (Hopefully you are laughing out loud right now at my naiveté. If not, you have much learning to do young padawan.) The other thing about this partial, is that she asked for it to be exclusive. Which I immediately granted. So I wait, and wait, without sending any other queries out. December passes silently. Christmas comes and goes. New Year's. Valentine's Day.
Then... I get it. The long awaited email from her assistant. I open it with baited breath. I read an opening line thanking me for letting them have the chance to read the partial, and telling me how much they enjoyed it, and praising my writing and my characters and etc. Until suddenly they're telling me that unfortunately Jodi doesn't want to offer representation because she felt like there wasn't enough of a reason for Gareth and Ava to be falling in love - that she needs more than a vague sense of destiny. I'm stunned. What in the world just happened? She rejected me? All my dreams come shattering down around me. No one is going to think that Erin's younger daughter is named Ava because of my book after all. I'm not the next Stephenie Meyer. Jodi doesn't like it. I'm broken.
This lasts for a short period of time. Then I decide there has to be at least a few other agents out there, and I'd better start doing some more research. I (with the help of two friends) start researching this industry some more, and find websites like agentquery.com (holy crap! There's, like, a ton of agents out there!), and agent blogs and websites and all sorts of information. (I know, I'm lame that it took me almost 3/4 of a year into this journey to figure that all out.)
I dust myself off, wipe my eyes, swallow hard past that lump in my throat, and decide I'd better keep moving forward. I believe in HIDDEN, my friends/family/readers do (they claim they like it better than Twilight and swear they aren't just saying that. But they are my friends, so I'm not really sure I can trust 'em. However, it does give me the boost of confidence needed to make me want to find the person who WILL believe in Ava and Gareth as much as I do.) I also find out that a woman in my neighborhood (ironically named Stephanni Myers) used to be an acquisitions editor and is a published author. She graciously takes the time to help me take the feedback I got from Jodi, reads my whole manuscript and then tears it apart. In a good, GOOD way. It doesn't feel good at first - in fact, when I see all those red marks completely obliterating the page, I think "why did she even read this if she hated it so much?" She didn't hate it though, quite the opposite actually. Stephanni taught me a major lesson that is vitally important at any stage in this business and I am eternally indebted to her, not only for that but for all of her help and support along the way. What was that lesson? Stay tuned to find out! Or maybe let's play that game I thought up: what do you think the lesson was that I learned? Or can you make a guess at what happens next?
Until next time!
(P.S. if there are tense problems or rambling issues in this post, I am not held responsible. I am somewhat distracted by some health issues Son B is having and a test we have to go to today. Wish us luck or pray for us, whichever you feel comfortable doing.)
Monday, August 2, 2010
By Request: My path to getting an Agent pt. 1
I don't know how many of your paths have been/will be like mine, but for what it's worth, here's what I went through to get where I am.
Summer 2007 - Eclipse and Deathly Hollows get released. I have a very traumatic experience personally. I've been writing again for about a year (after my almost four year break due to dating/marriage, like I explained in previous posts). But I am trying to write "grown up" books - aka adult fiction with some heavy topics. Not working out too well; in fact one of the saddest scenes in my book ends up happening to me almost verbatim in real life, seriously freaking me out (on top of being horrible).
I decide I definitely need to write fantasy or something that absolutely can't happen to me in real life from now on. I believe that I can write a book like Twilight or HP, if I could just have a plotline come to me while I'm sitting on a subway (or car in my case), or in a dream. I just need the plotline! I've always written contemporary or historical YA fiction growing up, but decide to wrack my brain for an urban fantasy or paranormal romance idea that could combine the elements I loved the most from HP and Twilight - a wonderful, intense romance and an intricate fantasy world with magic, and characters have special abilities beyond just doing spells. After weeks of trying to come up with something, my main male protag Gareth shows up in my head with an entire back history and an awesome plotline (IMO). I start frantically writing notes, trying to get all of my ideas down on paper, all of the history and character arcs and plots going on, etc. I can see the main girl in my mind, I know exactly what she's like, what she wants, what is going to happen to her, I just can't figure out her name. I know it's something short, but beautiful. I start going through all my baby name books, and finally find it: Ava. (The funniest part about this is that one of my closest friends has two daughters: Bella and yep, you guessed it, Ava. We kept joking that if/when my book got "BIG" she'd get told she'd named both of her girls after characters in books, when they were actually named before the books were published.)
I start writing, and HIDDEN comes flying out in two weeks flat. I have a couple of people reading as I go, and they LOVE it. I start to believe this is THE ONE. After I finish, I go through it a couple of times, with feedback from my few readers, and I prepare my first round of queries. I start with my top pick and about fourteen others that I find through the few resources I know about at this point. Most of them are snail mail. With a wish and a prayer I send out my queries, truly believing I'm going to be like Stephenie Meyer and get a bunch of no's and (at least) one amazing yes. Especially since my number agent is her agent, aka Jodi Reamer.
Want to know what happens next? Tune in for the next installment of "My path to getting an Agent, pt. 2." Until then, Happy Monday!
Summer 2007 - Eclipse and Deathly Hollows get released. I have a very traumatic experience personally. I've been writing again for about a year (after my almost four year break due to dating/marriage, like I explained in previous posts). But I am trying to write "grown up" books - aka adult fiction with some heavy topics. Not working out too well; in fact one of the saddest scenes in my book ends up happening to me almost verbatim in real life, seriously freaking me out (on top of being horrible).
I decide I definitely need to write fantasy or something that absolutely can't happen to me in real life from now on. I believe that I can write a book like Twilight or HP, if I could just have a plotline come to me while I'm sitting on a subway (or car in my case), or in a dream. I just need the plotline! I've always written contemporary or historical YA fiction growing up, but decide to wrack my brain for an urban fantasy or paranormal romance idea that could combine the elements I loved the most from HP and Twilight - a wonderful, intense romance and an intricate fantasy world with magic, and characters have special abilities beyond just doing spells. After weeks of trying to come up with something, my main male protag Gareth shows up in my head with an entire back history and an awesome plotline (IMO). I start frantically writing notes, trying to get all of my ideas down on paper, all of the history and character arcs and plots going on, etc. I can see the main girl in my mind, I know exactly what she's like, what she wants, what is going to happen to her, I just can't figure out her name. I know it's something short, but beautiful. I start going through all my baby name books, and finally find it: Ava. (The funniest part about this is that one of my closest friends has two daughters: Bella and yep, you guessed it, Ava. We kept joking that if/when my book got "BIG" she'd get told she'd named both of her girls after characters in books, when they were actually named before the books were published.)
I start writing, and HIDDEN comes flying out in two weeks flat. I have a couple of people reading as I go, and they LOVE it. I start to believe this is THE ONE. After I finish, I go through it a couple of times, with feedback from my few readers, and I prepare my first round of queries. I start with my top pick and about fourteen others that I find through the few resources I know about at this point. Most of them are snail mail. With a wish and a prayer I send out my queries, truly believing I'm going to be like Stephenie Meyer and get a bunch of no's and (at least) one amazing yes. Especially since my number agent is her agent, aka Jodi Reamer.
Want to know what happens next? Tune in for the next installment of "My path to getting an Agent, pt. 2." Until then, Happy Monday!
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