Monday Motivation: Fighter

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

I had a whole post thought out with this quote. About life, about fear, about the different directions our paths take and the trials we often face.

But my thoughts are pretty much centered on Josh and Megan right now. I told you all last week about him having a bone marrow transplant to save his life... well, unfortunately, he ended up so sick he is back in the ICU and the doctors are really struggling to know what to do. It's pretty scary to destroy someone's immune system to do a transplant when they are so sick they can't breathe on their own.

But he is a fighter. He keeps looking fear in the face and then punching it in the nose. Even though some might have given up by now, he is doing the things others think he can't do and continues to fight. We all believe he's going to win--to beat this thing. Despite all the odds stacked against him. Despite fevers so high they don't even register on the thermometer. (Yep, it just said "high." After an ice bath and tylenol it CAME DOWN to 110 degrees F.) He keeps on fighting.

But geez, can the poor guy just get a break?

On a lighter note, kind of makes the thought of hitting "send" on that email to query that agent you've been procrastinating for weeks now look a little bit easier, doesn't it? Yes, you. The one who just glanced guiltily at the tab for their inbox. Do it. Look fear in the face and go for it.

P.S. a recap of LTUE is on the horizon, so watch for that. It was my first time going, and let's just say, it's a weekend I won't be forgetting any time soon.

Flashback post #1 : 'Tis the Season...

From December 2010

Tis the Season...
To be way behind on everything. Including posting today. Whoops. Sorry about that!
(Ironic that this post is so relevant to me right now still! Our house got hit with the flu the last two days--well, just my boys, but trust me, it was a veritable body fluid fun fest. Blech. Anyway, the point is, I'm behind on everything again!)

I found this quote today, and it seemed an appropriate one for me. Maybe you will find it inspiring as well.

"There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus

I have said it before, I tend to be a worrier. I used to worry that I worried too much. The older I am, and the more things I "get" to worry about (two children [3 now!], mortgages, bills, health, etc., etc.), I've slowly begun to learn not to worry so much. It was either that, or go insane. I can't control everything. In fact, there are very few things I can actually control at all. That are "within the power of my will." I have to focus on doing my best with the things I can control and have trust and faith that everything else will work out the way it is supposed to.

Even in writing, we have a lot we can control, but there is so much that we can't. Elana Johnson did a fabulous post about "luck" in the process of getting published and it really hit home for me, and probably a lot of you. We all have to keep working hard, honing our craft (no matter what stage we're at--querying agents, on submission with editors, or published author working on subsequent books), and moving forward. But there are always things we can't control that could cause us worry. Will this agent/editor love my writing enough to offer to represent me/buy it? Will my book sell well? Will I get another deal? Will I be able to write another book as good as my first one? There are always worries. But I'm trying to learn to let them go.

I've yet to read a study telling us how good worrying is for our mental or physical health. So I am consciously trying to worry less--to do what I can do, and let go of the rest. How about you? What are you worried about? And can you do anything about it or not?

A little Shakespeare to start the week

This quote stuck with me when I read it, and thought it would be a good way to start off the week:


"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." -- William Shakespeare


Don't you just love Shakespeare? Doubts really can be stinkers, can't they? I know they can for me. Even with how much I love my new WIP, doubt is hanging in there every step of the way, with every word I write. "Is this actually a good idea?"... "Am I getting any better as an author?" ... "Does this actually totally and completely suck?" You know, minor stuff. Ha ha.

But I have to shove those doubts away, and keep on keeping on. I'm never going to "win any good" if I let my doubts drive me rather than my hopes, dreams, and ultimately my belief in myself. The ironic thing is that no matter how bad I think I may doing while I'm writing something, I inevitably realize it's much better than I thought when I go back to edit it later. Interesting, isn't it? Sometimes I think doubt is a type of self-sabotage to keep us from achieving something really amazing. Our worst doubts seem to attack at the moments when we are actually creating something that exceeds anything we have created before. Maybe it's because we have to stretch to do it--to get to that next level. So, what do you choose to believe in: the doubts? Or the belief that you ARE talented and worthy and able to create something beautiful/amazing/awe-inspiring/or that-at-least-doesn't-suck?

Doubt or belief, which one do you let drive you? What are your deep thoughts for this Monday morning?

doubt

"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt." --William Shakespeare

Anyone here ever struggle with self-doubt? Um, ME! ME!

How do I overcome doubt? By forcing myself to take the next step forward. The only way to completely erase your doubts is to prove them wrong. I had many, many times when I doubted if I would ever get an agent. When it got the worst, I would send out ten more queries, or start a new book so I had something new to query soon. I would Keep. Moving. Forward. No matter how paralyzed I wanted to be by my fear, I forced it back by acting like I believed it was going to work. Even when I actually didn't. Does that make sense? It did for me. Did it work? Yes! Eventually. It took time, effort, faith, hard-work, more time, more effort... you get the idea. It took SIX blog posts about "my path to get an agent" worth of time to get there. But I did get an agent.

Now, I have all these doubts about finding an editor who will love my work enough to buy it. So, what am I going to do? Work hard, move forward, do what my agent needs me to do, and keep going until it happens. Then I'm sure I'll have new doubts. Woohoo! So much to look forward to! Ha ha. (Actually, I do look forward to it!)

How about you, what do you do to overcome your doubt?

Change... or be changed

Or something like that.

I'm sure you've heard the saying, "the only constant in this life is change." So better get used to it, right? Can change be a good thing? I like to think so. Some changes are hard, some are even devastating. However, some are exciting and fun. Like my hair. (You thought I was going to be all deep and stuff, didn't you? Ha! Fooled you again!) I love to change my hair. I get nervous about cutting it too short, because it takes FOREVER to grow back out (since it's naturally curly). But I even tried a short 'do last summer. I was brave. And when it comes to color, or variations of style/bangs/etc, I'm all about the change. I thought about posting a whole bunch of pictures from just the last two years to show how drastically I have changed my hair (over and over again!) during that time, but eh. That's probably not interesting to you. Or is it? I can if you'd like. It's almost funny to see what I've done. But anyway, I digress.

So what does this have to do with writing?

Thanks for asking! Let me tell you. Change is good. When you're stuck in revisions, or when you've written yourself into a corner, try changing something. Have the courage to do something drastic if necessary. Even though it might be scary, it could end up being the best decision you ever made.

The thing is, when you change your hair, you know it can easily be fixed if it turns out badly. If you don't like the highlights, get the dark color put back in. Badabing, badaboom. If you try the big change in your manuscript, and end up hating it, you can just change it back to how it was. Delete. Copy and paste. Voila. It never hurts to try, and you might be surprised at what a huge improvement the change might make. At the very least, you'll know you tried, and won't ever wonder, "what if I'd had the courage to ____."

So, what do you say? Any big changes you've been to scared to make, that you're ready to do now after this little pep talk? Come on, don't be shy. And don't be scared. What's the worst that can happen? Besides this:

In the words of Ralph

And by "Ralph" I mean Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do.' "

I have had to face a lot of fears to keep myself on this path of publication, and continue to do what I was "afraid to do." My number #1 fear probably being 'fear of rejection' - in any form. From my crit group, from agents I was querying (now from editors), from my self, and possibly scariest of all, from my mom. Seriously, she just might be my toughest reader. When I get any praise from her on my writing, I know it means something. My fears haven't ended with getting an agent, but luckily I now have someone else helping push me to do the things I'm "afraid to do."

There are lots of other things to be afraid of too besides rejection, and not all of them have to do with writing. I think the idea of scuba diving sounds amazing, but I'm terrified of drowning/blood poisoning/suffocating/being eaten by a shark. (Which is odd, because as a child I used to want to go in one of those cages surrounded by Great Whites that you see on SharkWeek. I must have eventually figured out I'm not immortal or something, because now that idea sounds like suicide.) That's just one example, I could give you a whole bunch more.

But the only way to experience life in the fullest, most satisfying way possible is to do the things we are afraid of -- right Ralph? My mom used to tell me and my sisters: "nothing ventured, nothing gained." Or as my husband likes to say (take note of his love of relating life to sports): "You'll miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

So, let's all venture out, do what we are afraid of, and take those shots. The worst that can happen is that you'll miss and have to try again. Or get eaten by a shark.