The Big Apple

In my last post, I promised a recap of my trip to NYC. And you know me (or if you don't, you will soon learn): that means picture overload!! (and also a plethora of CAPS and PUNCTUATION!!!) ;-)

I still can't quite believe it really happened. A large portion of my brain is still pretty sure it was a prolonged dream. The only reason I'm sure it wasn't all in my head is because I took pictures to prove it happened. Not to be corny, but it was, quite literally, a dream come true.

So here we go: Sara's first time in NYC!

In the air, still unable to believe this is really happening! I was also so nervous... not quite sure how I was going to handle being in NYC by myself. This might sound silly, but I was told my hotel was within walking distance of the Scholastic offices--only 7 blocks. Cue UT girl freak out. I'm supposed to walk 7 BLOCKS in my HEELS in a massive city BY MYSELF?? I was working on my whistle so I'd be ready to get a cab.

(My Hotel Lobby)

 And then I got to NYC and all my fear disappeared. As we drove through the streets I learned two things: 1. I LOVE NYC. And 2. It would be much faster to walk than take a cab. Holy traffic jam!

 (View in front of my hotel)

I had a little bit of time before I was supposed to meet Editor Lisa for dinner, and I decided to go wander around the city a little bit. (Like I said--all fear was gone.)

 (Me, being a nerdy tourist in front of my hotel)

Walking up and down the streets of NYC - this is Broadway. You guys, I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved it here. There was such an amazing, cool energy in the city. I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face as I wandered around, taking it all in. If I weren't married with 3 kids, I think I'd be tempted to up and move here. Not forever, but maybe for a year. It was just so... I don't know. I just loved it!

 Then I got to meet Editor Lisa for the first time in person and we went to dinner at this amazing restaurant in SoHo. She was kind enough to let me take pictures with her, even though she was due in only a couple of weeks. She's so beautiful and wonderful! I honestly can't imagine a more perfect editor for me and DEFY.

 My delicious breakfast as I got ready for my luncheon with Scholastic! I got up early, even though it was SUPER early for this UT girl, so I could have time to wander around the city some more. I brought a big bag to carry my stuff in--including my heels--put on my flip flops (yep, with my fancy outfit) and headed out the door!

 Anyone else out there a fan of FELICITY? My sisters and I used to watch it all the time, so I had to take a pic and send it to them!

 I found a (relatively safe looking) stranger to take this nerdy picture for me in front of the Scholastic building (complete with my awesome flip flops haha). She positioned that street sign just perfectly, don't you think? ha. Oh well! Here I am!

 Coolest building ever, right?? Notice how there are two doors--one said "Scholastic Store" and one said "Scholastic" with the Bldg number on it. So, being the savvy tourist/author that I am, I decided to go into the store first, and then head over to the other door and go to my luncheon.

 When I walked in, there was this huge lobby with security guards... weird for a store, right? But oh well, whatever! Nice to know my book will be well guarded once it's on those shelves.

 After I wandered back out front, I asked one of the nice security guards to take my picture with Harry. He asked if I liked the store and I told him how cool I thought it was, and then said, "My book is going to be back there in five months!" He was excited for me and asked me about it, so I told him a little bit about it and that I was actually there for a luncheon with my editor. "So, I better get going!" I said and breezily waved and walked out of the door. A different door than I walked in. And yet it still didn't click. I blame it on the nerves. So, anyway, I walk out, turn left to go in the "other door" and realize I'm past the Scholastic building. WHAT? I panic for half a second, until it FINALLY dawns on me. HELL-O! I had to turn around and go back in that door I'd just walked out of, straight up to those same two security guards and said, "Remember how I said I was a totally dork? Yeah, um, I need to go upstairs and see Lisa Sandell." I still can't believe I was so dumb. Haha. Oh well! The guard was very nice not to laugh at me as he printed off my badge and buzzed me through to go upstairs.

 Me and Lisa in her office with my ARCs of DEFY!! 

 The luncheon was absolutely amazing. I loved meeting the other authors there, and all of the incredible people at Scholastic. I'm so incredibly blessed to be working with all of them!! It was so fun to talk to people who love my book and are as excited about it as I am. I can't even put it into words.

 Just a few of the awesome people at Scholastic - Sheila Marie (my publicist), Bess and Emily! I don't want to go on and on, but this day was just... wow. I don't have words.

 The skyline on my way back to the airport. I hope I can stay longer next time and see more of the Big Apple, but I was also so excited to get back to my family. It was so strange to be the one on a business trip instead of SHH!

And speaking of him... he surprised me with the best "car service" (and sign) of the whole trip! Have I mentioned that I'm so blessed??

If you're still reading this -  congrats! You made it! That's the end of the recap. Phew, right? But here's the thing. So much of this journey is hard. Years of rejections, being told no over and over... Feeling like you're not good enough and never will be, and yet you somehow keep pressing on. I did that for seven years. It struck me the other day--I've been trying to get published for almost the entire time my oldest son has been alive. I started writing again and pursuing publication when he was eight or nine months old. He's 8 now. And it's finally happening. 

I don't know what lies ahead of me--I don't know how well DEFY will do. I don't know how many more books I'll be able to publish. I don't know--and can't control--SO MANY THINGS. But I can control one thing: enjoying the journey right now. 

And that's what this post is. Putting down my feelings right now, my happiness and excitement. So I can always come back to this and remember. I've learned this very important lesson through all these years and years of dreaming and working and hoping: You have to celebrate any success that comes, no matter how big or small. Savor the happiness that is there; find the joy and cling to it. 

I don't know what the future holds, but I do know this. Right now, I am happy. And that is an amazing feeling. 

THE post!

I've been staring at this blank screen for ... well, a while now. There are so many things I could say today--things I want to say. But I honestly don't know how to put into words what I'm feeling right now. Ironic, considering that words are what I use for a living.

I've already said much of what has lead me to this point before in THIS post, or THIS one, or even THIS SERIES of posts, way back in the distant past detailing my path to getting my first agent. (That link is the first post, I think I did it in 5 parts or something crazy like that. Also, I probably sound incredibly naive in those posts, so don't judge too harshly!)


It's been a long, long road.



BUT.


SOMETHING BIG HAPPENED.

Since I'm struggling to figure out what to write, instead of words, I'll use images. Today, this post is about something that makes me feel like this:




 And this:




And now, finally, I get to share this from Publisher's Weekly:

Lisa Sandell at Scholastic Press has bought Sara B. Larson's Defy, a debut YA adventure romance pitched as in the vein of Kristin Cashore and Leigh Bardugo. In the novel, the fiercest member of a prince's elite guard is actually a girl disguised as a boy, who gets embroiled in a deadly game of thrones while keeping her secret, and realizes she has far deeper feelings for the prince than she thought. The book will pub in spring 2014; Josh Adams at Adams Literary brokered the deal for North American rights.

I've been dying to share this news for a while and now I finally get to! AAAGGGHH!!!! ALL THE HAPPINESS!!!

When I got the call from Josh, he asked me how I was doing and then said, "Well, you're going to be published!"

I thought I'd do this:



And this:



Which I totally did... eventually. But when he said that to me, before I even knew who or what, I think I said, "I am?" and then did this:



And then when I found out who and what I did this:


(Except, they were ECSTATIC tears... But the ice cream is really appropriate because my hubby brought home ice cream to celebrate!)

Tears of joy, tears of relief... I'm sure Josh thought I was crazy.


But after my tears dried, there definitely was a lot of this:




Wow, that's a whole lot of emotion, right??

Guys, I am so so thrilled to be working with Lisa and to have my book published by Scholastic! It's an absolute dream come true!! And I can't wait to share DEFY with you! (This is the book I wrote last August, that used to be called Daughter of War--I'm pretty sure I talked about it in one of those posts I linked above.) I still can't quite believe it's going to be a real book, on a shelf, in my hands--possibly in your hands--in about a year! SQUEEE!!!! *happy dance* *all the tears of joy in the world*

 See? Here's me and my ice cream (after the happy tears had dried up), after I got my offer, with a nice little placement of a decoration beside me. In case you can't read it, it says "BELIEVE."

And here I am just last week, signing my contract!

I will do a post soon about all of the celebrations that have taken place over the last couple of months, including the amazing gift my sweet hubby gave me (other than ice cream). And I'll probably talk a lot about not giving up, and and inspirational shtuff like that. Because, let's face it, this is me we're talking about.

But for now, all I have to say is:



WOOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phwew! That was heavy...

Do you remember that phrase from Back to the Future? It was supposed to be all cool and futuristic. And now that movie is so old, most of my target audience for my books (YA) probably have never even seen it.

Anyway, the point is.... wow, that post yesterday was heavy. And yet you guys completely and totally lifted me up. THANK YOU so much for every comment and email. I can't begin to tell you how much it meant to me. Hugs for everyone! Unless you don't like hugs. Or if you're shorter than me and then that awkward moment happens when your face is in an inopportune location and I have to kind of shlump down and it's just totally lame. Let's just throw out cupcakes instead. CAKE FOR EVERYONE!

And you know what? I was sick to my stomach about posting that yesterday morning, but by the afternoon, I was so much happier. And then last night, as I was driving my three amazing kids home from SonA's baseball tournament (the last sporting event for two months until soccer starts up again!! YAY!!), we had the windows rolled down, Muse (Best. Music. EVER.) was blasting, and we were all rocking out. It was a perfect moment. We were laughing, dancing, singing. The wind was blowing through the car, the sun was setting, it was amazing.

So you know what? Yes, sometimes life is hard. Sometimes things don't go how we hope. Sometimes I'm not as kind as I want to be, and sometimes others are not kind to me. BUT. Life is beautiful. There is joy to be found in the journey every day.

I am grateful for how sad I was when I wrote that post yesterday morning, because it made the joy of driving home with my family that much sweeter last night.

Wow, she's posting again already?

I know, right?? I'm sorry my blogging is so sporadic these days. Trying to have a set schedule right now isn't working out so well, so I am now the blogger who blogs when inspiration hits.

Today, inspiration hit.

You've probably seen this quote circulating on pinterest or FB. But just in case you haven't, here it is:

COMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOY.


Oh. My. Word.


This is so true -- in all aspects of life. I am the worst at this, constantly comparing myself and finding myself lacking. And it definitely sucks the happiness out of life. I reach a goal, or do something I'm proud of, or have a good day, or WHATEVER. And I feel happy. Elated, even. Until I start thinking about those authors over there who were faster, bigger, better. Or that mom who has a cleaner house, and perfectly dressed children (not two boys who love to dress themselves in questionable outfits in the matching department), AND she's skinnier than me. Even though she's eating a big piece of cake.

Suddenly, I'm not so happy anymore.

See what I mean?

I've got to stop. I'm going to stop. My journey is mine and mine alone. The only person I'm competing with is myself. The only battle is with my own doubts and fears and desires and dreams.

How about you? Do you ever do this? (Please say I'm not alone...)

In pursuit of Happiness

I don't know if anyone else is like me, thinking "when I get here" or "when I accomplish this goal" or "when this happens," THEN I will be so happy, I'll hardly be able to stand it. But then those things don't happen when we think or hope. What then? Rather than achieving the happiness we assumed we'd have, we suddenly feel deflated, lost, hopeless maybe--decidedly unhappy.

I don't want to waste my life waiting for the next "big dream" to come true to be happy. I am good at staying positive and focusing on right now, being happy with where I am... most of the time. But I slip up. Things don't go the way I'd hoped, or planned. Doubts creep in. My "failures" loom and sometimes overshadow the blessings of my days.

"There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying things which are beyond the power of our will." - Epictetus

I know I need to stop worrying about the things that are outside the power of my will, or my ability to do anything about. Some days I'm good about it, some days not so much. My children are young right now, and I don't want to miss these years of their lives, dreaming of what the future holds. I want to hold on to them, to cherish them. I want to cherish where my life is right now. Have I met all the dreams and goals I thought and hoped I would by February of 2011? No. But were they all in my control? No. Have I done the best I can do, made all the effort I can to reach those goals? Yes, I have. The ones in my power, I have reached. So I need to learn to be happy with that knowledge. And someday, maybe those dreams that aren't in my power, that I hope to have come true, will become reality. I certainly hope so. But for now, I need to remember to find joy in the dreams that have come true -- a wonderful husband, two amazing sons, a beautiful daughter on the way, shelter, food, cars that run.

What do you do to stay happy when things don't go the way you hope or planned?

Happiness

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." -Helen Keller

I had a "door of happiness" close for me at the end of last week, and I'm determined not to stare at it. I might have kicked it once or twice, but stare? Nope. Not me. I am moving forward, determined to find the new door that has opened. Somewhere. Or maybe it's still in the process of opening. Or maybe I'm going to have to go find it and yank it open. But I'm determined to find it.

Have you ever spent so much time and thought and energy dwelling on a door shutting, that you didn't notice a different chance of happiness? Or are you really good at looking for the positive? If Helen Keller could find happiness in her life, surely we can, too. Right? No matter how many doors it takes to get there. And maybe the trick is learning to be happy in the journey--not always just wishing to arrive at some predetermined destination. Because you know what? That destination might not turn out to be everything it was cracked up to be anyway, and if we can't learn to be happy with where we are at now, how will we ever be truly happy? There will always be something bigger, better, brighter out there if we get stuck in the rut of comparing (or staring at those shut doors). I, for one, am trying to learn to really enjoy where I'm at now. To love the beauty of today and everything it gives me.

Also, I'm planning on taking a nap because I got about two hours of sleep last night. So if this post seems somewhat rambling, disjointed, and/or incoherent, blame the lack of sleep. (Unless you've been a reader for a long time, then you know that sleep or no sleep, I'm just random sometimes.) Happy Hump Day! What's making you happy today?