Friday Four or Five

1. Cancer sucks. I really hate it. My heart is breaking for sweet Brodi Ashton who just lost her incredible dad to cancer last night. Their family was so sweet and supportive and positive when we lost Josh, and I wish I could do something for them now. Please keep them in your prayers.

2. My son made me breakfast this morning! He's only six, but he heard me talking to his dad about how late I was up finishing my latest revisions, and then how Baby Girl kept waking up the rest of the night, and decided to surprise me. He made me toast and cereal. He said, "I know you were up with 'Baby Girl' a lot last night and I could tell you were exhausted, so I made you breakfast so you didn't have to worry about it." Moments like that truly make everything worth it.

3. I love downloading new music, whether it's to work out to or to write to, it doesn't matter. I get so excited to write again, or for my next workout with my new tunes. I just LOVE music. Any good songs I should know about right now that you're loving? Please share!

4. It's amazing how many things can be similar--running, writing, parenting, you name it. Anything that is worthwhile is usually a mixture of being extremely hard and extremely rewarding. Often the hard times are much more common and longer lasting than the rewarding moments, too. So why do we do these hard things? Because the rewards outweigh the difficulty of the tasks. The high of finishing a new manuscript, or (hopefully) nailing a revision... the sense of accomplishment in making yourself get up at 4 am, get to the race and finishing strong with a dead sprint... the joy of having your six-year-old surprise you with breakfast, or getting a surprise hug and an "I love you Mommy" from my three-year-old, or the big open mouth kisses from Baby Girl (often complete with an affectionate bite on the shoulder [yes she bites me when she's being super affectionate, I think she's part vampire. Good thing I didn't name her Renesmee])... Those rewards are worth any pain or struggle or frustration along the way. But you have to push through the hard times to get the rewards, right? That's the trick to life. Endure the trials to be able to enjoy the blessings.

I feel very blessed today.

How about you?

Monday motivation

I just read this on pinterest and loved it:


"Work for a cause, not for applause; Live life to express, not to impress;  Don't strive to make your presence noticed, just your absence felt."

What do we allow to motivate us? Are we trying to compete, to win, to impress others, to get notice/praise/etc etc etc? I think we'd all be lying if we didn't admit to one or more of those reasons at least some of the time. But honestly, why do we do that? The less I think about so-and-so's massive book deal, or that person's 6 week "journey" from querying to agent offer to book offer, or how fast someone else ran the same race as me on saturday, or how much cuter those pants look on my sister when she borrowed them than me... the LESS I focus on all of the comparisons, and instead focus on MY journey, the happier I am.

So I don't have a book deal yet. That's okay. I am learning, I am growing, I am being forced to continue to come up with new ideas and grow and stretch as an author. I am not giving up and someday I WILL be published.

So my journey is taking longer than I'd hoped. That's okay. It will only make my success WHEN it comes that much sweeter. I will not give up and there will come a day when we get to go out to celebrate MY good news. But for now, I will continue to celebrate the good news my friends get because I am so happy for them when their dreams come true!

So we posted a pretty "slow" time at the half marathon on Saturday if I were to compare it to others. So what? I got to go run 13.1 miles with MY MOM! Who is past the halfway point in life (most likely) and can still get up and go do that. Isn't she amazing?? I think so. I loved running with her. I loved accomplishing something like that with her. And my aunt, too. How cool is she for the exact same reasons?

 We did it! Aren't my mom and my Aunt DiAnne so cute?? Love them!

 My Achilles tendon is okay, and we finished 13.1 miles with barely any training and ten of the minutes on our time was my fault because, well, let's just say I had some plumbing issues. Heh. But the point is, if I take away the urge to compare myself to others at the race, I am left with only the feeling of accomplishment that we DID IT, that I even had enough energy to sprint the last half mile (and only then because they actually, literally started pushing me to leave them and "finish strong" with a sprint [I refused to leave them before that even though they both kept telling me to--that wasn't the point, I was there to do the race with them! And they waited for me when I had the aforementioned "issues" ahem]). I was able to do something amazing with my mom and my aunt who I love very much. And that's the coolest feeling ever. Much better than posting a PR by myself.

And let's not even go to the part where my sister looks better in my pants.

The point of this rambling post is that we all just need to stop worrying so much about what other people say, do, or think. We are all on our own personal journey. We are all seeking after happiness. Every day we have the opportunity to realize all the good that we do or look for all of our faults or shortcomings both real or perceived. There is plenty to be found on both sides. But I've heard it said that what you focus on becomes bigger. So I'm going to focus on what I do that's good. How about you?

What have you done recently that you're proud of?

Friday Musings

Whoa. What the haystack happened to blogger? I'm somewhat bewildered right now. I go to write a blog post and the whole thing is different.

Anyway, so I guess I'm still doing the race tomorrow. Regardless of my lack of training because of everything that has happened in the last couple of months and my achilles tendon bugging me, I will be there bright and early, and I will finish. I might just be REALLY slow, heh.

But that brings me to what I've been thinking about a lot this week. The day before my last race (my first half-marathon ever) was Josh's birthday. It was the first time he'd been admitted to the hospital with complications with his chemo. It was the first time those horrible fevers showed up--and then never went away. We took Baby Girl with us and headed up to the hospital to visit him, to take him a little present and some ice cream for his birthday. I dedicated that last race to him, believing 100% that he would be running the Halloween Half with us next time.

I still can't believe he's really gone.

He got me through that last race. I'd never gone that far in my life, and it was a really rough run for some reason. I started to lose energy at mile 5, which was crazy. My 11 mile run two weeks before was cake in comparison (only the last mile was hard). But the thought of him fighting cancer, of how I'd dedicated my race to him is what got me through it. I had tears in my eyes for the last three miles and I had this burst of energy every time I thought about him and that's how I finished strong.

I think every race I ever run will remind me of him, since he got me through my first. The pain of his loss is still fresh, and tomorrow will be an emotional day for me I think. But maybe this time he will be running it with me, just not in the way I'd hoped.

I love you and miss you Josh. We all do. 

Injuries suck

So, you know how I mentioned that I'm supposed to be running a half marathon this Saturday in my last post?

Yeah.

Somehow I've hurt my Achilles tendon. I was walking around on Sunday (barefoot mind you) and it randomly started to hurt. Like, a LOT. I didn't do anything to make it hurt that I know of, so I'm not quite sure what to think. I ran on Monday, just an easy 2 mile run to see how it would feel, and it was okay, though still a little sore. Nothing like Sunday. But, now I'm not sure if I should do my race or not.

Do you ever hit unexpected road bumps on your path - whether it be training for a race or trying to get published or something else? Of course you do, it's part of life. Things happen. Unexpected things happen. Sometimes they're good things and sometimes, not so much.

I guess the trick is recognizing when it's okay to keep pushing forward, to endure and persevere and all of that. And when is the time to back off, to rest for a while, or reroute your plan.

I paid $70 for this race though, and I'm not magnanimous enough to want to just donate that much money to them. I think it's silly enough to pay someone for the "opportunity" to go run 13.1 miles, let alone to say, "well, I was going to run your race but something came up, so here, please take my money! Enjoy it!" So I'll probably still go and if I have to walk the darn thing so that I don't permanently injure my tendon, then that's what I'll do. Hopefully it's a scenic route!

How about you? Hit any unexpected road bumps recently?

Writing has now REPLACED exercise

Remember my last post where I explained how writing is like exercising? If not, you can read it below this one or by clicking HERE. Well, now writing has literally taken the place of exercising for me. At least, some of the time.

And considering I'm supposed to be running a half marathon again in a few weeks, I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Heh.

Anyway, SHH has started leaving for work super early in the morning, which means I can't go to my early morning classes at the gym anymore. And every day I keep thinking, I should get up and write if I can't go work out. Think about how much happier I'll be if I get some writing done BEFORE the kids get up. Otherwise, all my ideas for this new book swirl around in my head all morning, distracting me from being the best mom I can be, because all I want to do is go WRITE IT ALL DOWN.

So today, after Baby Girl woke me up at 6:20 to nurse, I got her back to sleep and then I stayed up. I got out my laptop and ipod and I wrote. Five shiny new pages by 7:20 am. I'm pretty excited about it! So maybe this will be my new morning workout--for my brain and fingers, instead of my heart and muscles.

And hopefully I can sneak in some REAL exercise, too, because let's face it, I need it for my mental AND physical health. And also those 13.1 miles I'm supposed to be running at the end of the month. Oh dear.

Writing is like exercise

Yep, I've decided that writing is like exercise. But I love writing and I hate exercising, you say? Well, hold on, and let me explain.

So, when you are on pinterest, or see that magazine at the store, or your neighbor who just completed his/her tenth triathlon and you think, "wow, I wish I looked like that." We'll call that "inspiration." (This is correlated to getting an "idea for a book.")

There are a LOT of people who decide they want to "get in shape." A majority never take it past that--a decision or longing that never results in action. Some will go buy a couple of outfits, maybe a workout video, some hand weights, maybe even join a gym! We'll call this "baby steps." (This is correlated with writing a couple of notes, maybe even a few chapters, maybe even signing up for a writer's conference.)

But most of those people will go to the gym a few times and loose motivation. Or they'll do their videos once a week. Enough to appease their desire without really accomplishing anything substantial. This is the "dabbling stage." (You see where I'm going with this yet?)

BUT... there are those few people who are really, truly determined to make a change. To pursue their dream--muscles, skinnyliciousness, or writing and publishing a book. Those people put in the time, the effort, they push through exhaustion, sickness, stress, lack of time, boredom--you name it. And they start seeing results. Some are faster than others, and some take different routes. There are runners, weight lifters, triathletes, swimmers, yoga enthusiasts, etc. And of course there are the side decisions you have to make as well, to make the exercise more effective--eating healthy, getting enough sleep, etc. (Obviously, this is a comparison to not only sitting down and making yourself write--no matter what--it's also about revising, editing, finding CPs, a crit group, actually going to conferences and participating, etc.)

And guess what? What was hard at first, becomes easier. That class at the gym that kicked your butt becomes *gasp* kind of fun. Because you can hang with the teacher without feeling like you're going to pass out or have an aneurysm afterwards anymore. You start to think, "I can do this! I kind of rock!" And you can. And you do.

BUT.

Yep, there's a but.

Sometimes, it's still hard. This is how I thought of this post. Yesterday, I was trying to work on my new idea, the one that has been flowing for days. And then, all of a sudden, yesterday I hit a wall. I was stuck. I stared at that screen and couldn't figure out what to do next. I thought about closing my laptop, doing something else. But I knew that was a surefire way to NOT fix the problem, to never finish the book. So I made myself keep writing. It was slow, it was painful, but I kept going. (See the exercise correlation again? Even if you are in good shape, there are days when it is just HARD to exercise. Like when I went for a 4 mile run with my mama yesterday, pushing Baby Girl in the jogging stroller. For some reason, running yesterday was super hard.) I forced out a page or two, and then my time was up until later that night. I thought about the problems I was facing all afternoon as I took care of the kids, made dinner, all the other stuff.

And then an idea hit me, a way to fix the problem. I went back a few chapters, added some scenes, and then changed the stuff that happened after to match. And suddenly it was flowing again, even faster than before. I had what I like to call a "writer's high." Those times when you are just bursting with happiness and excitement as you type as fast as your fingers will go. I've only had a runner's high two, maybe three times. But one in particular stands out--it was the longest run I'd ever done up to that point (10 miles) and the first few were so hard I almost didn't keep going. But then, I hit mile 8 and I suddenly had this burst of energy. I wanted to sprint, I felt that good. I grinned from ear to ear as I ran. Then I hit mile 9.5 and the high went bye-bye and I had to really push myself to finish the last mile.

But the point is this: there are going to be hard times. In fact, more often than not, it's going to be hard to exercise OR write/try to get published. But if you do it, if you put the time in and keep going, you will see results. And you might even get to experience those elusive highs every once in a while that make all the lows worth it.

There's this movie coming out...

You may have heard of it. And I'm going to see it tonight!

I am so excited, I can't wait. I was thinking about one of the most famous lines from the series, "May the odds be ever in your favor." Katniss faced some pretty insane odds of losing (aka dying) in the story. But since there are 3 books and more movies being made, I think it's pretty safe for me to announce that she does survive book 1. (If any of you are shocked by this, I apologize.) She beats the odds. Why? Was it her skill? Her determination? Luck? Who she knew--those who cared about her, loved her, wanted something from her--everyone who helped her, each for their own reasons?

How much is real life like this? How much of accomplishing your goals is beating the odds? I know in publishing it is a big part of the puzzle. If you look at the numbers, the percentages of authors who actually succeed in getting an agent, and then even beyond that a book deal, and beyond that becoming a bestseller... well, let's just say they are slim. Like really slim. Single digits slim. Just for the first level, agents get hundreds if not thousands of queries EVERY month. And they pick up, what, maybe one or two new clients a year (if that)? Let's just say the odds, they are so not in your favor.


So, if you've done the best you can do--polished, learned your craft, edited, revised, polished some more--until your book shines, what makes the difference in beating those (admittedly) depressing odds? (Because obviously the first step is you must have the skill, whether you are naturally talented [which is great, but will still only get you so far before you have to learn how to be even better], or whether you work your butt off to turn your creativity into quality, you must have that in place before anything else can come together to get you published.) But AFTER that, what helps you beat the odds? Luck? Who you know? Determination, never giving up? What?

I think it's a combination of all of it. There are only a few things you have control over--your work and your determination to not give up, right? So all we can do is keep working, keep persevering, honing our craft and putting ourselves out there. And sooner or later, the luck and timing will be right and you will be positioned to finally have those pieces fall into place.

Right?

Well, anyway, May the Odds be Ever in YOUR Favor... And enjoy the show!